I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
