He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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