We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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