she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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