I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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