So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Randomize
