We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
