Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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