Just fell off a train. Bad.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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