I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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