Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
