Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
