Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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