Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
