So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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