Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i love accidental penises.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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