yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
