Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize