Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
