Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
