Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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