And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
