Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
