Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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