ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
