Your dad touched me again.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
