i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
