Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
