there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
