I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize