Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
