Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
