I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
