Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
