those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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