I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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