I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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