She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
