the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
