Got a toothbrush?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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