i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
