Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
