saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
