the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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