how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
