Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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