you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize