I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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