It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize