Already got asked if we're dating
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
