Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
birth control should be required to get into college
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
