things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize