idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize