I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
