he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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