he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
