My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
