Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You are a genius and a whore.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
