Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
