just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
