well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
