I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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