He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
