I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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