It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
