im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Are we still banned from the library?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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