please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
