This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
