I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
